The Fandango Tango 
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(to the tune of "The Masochism Tango" by Tom Lehrer) 
(new lyrics by Deanna "Janthina" Rubin)


I ache for excitement at sea, mate. 
And much more for a good PvP, mate. 
You shoot a lot 
But never get shot 
As we fight in the blockade by Fandango. 

Let our fighting be fair, not a landslide 
Say you'll gun for me with both your hands tied. 
Your frigs run hoops 
'Round their puny sloops 
As we fight in the blockade by Fandango. 

On your war brig 
I'll sing and dance a jig 
And bring aboard a pig (Eww!) 
It's here that I must be. 
I like to carp 
And hide under a tarp
And stab with stuff that's sharp 
So come and swordfight me 

To generate fear and hostility 
Was their primary responsibility 
Their intent from the start 
Was this bullying art 
Which is why people tart about Fandango 

You stole my crew 
For your rockstar elite, Hom, 
I'll be shooting your fleet, Hom, 
Every time I fill guns. 
And I may misconstrue 
All the goals of your group, Hom 
As I stand on this sloop, Hom 
Rhyming into these puns 

Your war frigate sunk all our Tenches 
The last time we hired fifty wenches 
To carp up the wall 
You smashed with your ball 
When we fought in the blockade by Fandango. 

Destroy my sails 
And take away my nails 
And kick over our pails 
And raid my monger's stock 
I know too well 
How we can all rebel 
So Fangoes, if you smell 
Something burning, it's the dock. (Oh, blimey!)

Turn yourselves around in that cutter 
And flee 'fore we shoot into your rudder 
Whisk yourselves home 
And leave us alone 
'Cause we're all sick of hearing 'bout Fandango!