"The Officer-in-Training's Lament" (To the tune of "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls) New lyrics by Deanna "Janthina" Rubin I'm trying to ask you something 'bout my score Maybe give me insight into learning more And the best thing you've ever done for me Is to help me get my Ult in carpentry It's only carp, after all... yeah. Well, Sailing Ult is something unachievable And Bilging scores are booched, or so I hear I took that sloop in Ruby that you got me I sailed my ship of safety 'till they shot me ...I'm floating back to shore. I went to the docktarts, I went to the forums I looked at the top ten, and tried to ignore 'em There's more than one way to play these puzzles; Running ships is the bottom line. And the less I break my back to get Incredible The closer I am to "Fine". I went to try my hand at learning gunnery With a bit of wad and powder, and a cannonball or three But brigands engaged me, on sails I had a swabbie They gave me so few tokens, my navving was so slobby I filled four guns while avoiding open fire, dodged the grapple, And I could flee. I went to the docktarts, I went to the forums I looked at the top ten, and tried to ignore 'em There's more than one way to play these puzzles; Running ships is the bottom line. And the less I break my back to get Incredible The closer I am to "Fine". I stopped by the inn at 3am To try entering a tourney, or brawling with a friend I joined up with a card game for some late-night escapades Twice I had a blind nil with the ace of spades And I kept it for hilarity. I went to the docktarts, I went to the forums I looked at the top ten, and tried to ignore 'em Yeah, we all can be docktarts, we act like a booty, We look at the statwhores, and just do our duty, Yeah, we go to the crow's nest, we go be the lookout, We learn to shoot in battle, we give those brigs a workout, There's more than one way to do these puzzles Running ships is the bottom line And the less I break my back to get Incredible The closer I am to "Fine", Closer I am to "Fine", Closer I am to "Fine".