Carping Nut
To the tune of Harry Nilsson's "Coconut"... but more like the Muppets.
(by Deanna "Janthina" Rubin)


Jannie was a carping nut, she played it all the time
Her crewmates thought she was insane and then she hit Sublime

She got Sublime as a carping nut, fixed the hole up
She got Sublime as a carping nut, nailed it all together
She got Sublime as a carping nut, fixed the hole up
She got Sublime as a carping nut, then a brigand shot 'em up, and said,

"Carper! Ain't there nothing that you've missed?"
They said, "Carper! To relieve your aching wrist."
They said, "Carper! Ain't there nothing that you've missed?"
They said, "Carper! Now you're on the top ten list!"

She got Sublime as a carping nut, fixed the hole up
She got Sublime as a carping nut, nailed it all down
She got Sublime as a carping nut, fixed the hole up
She got Sublime as a carping nut, then a brigand shot 'em up, and said,

"Carper! Ain't there nothing you can take?"
They said, "Carper! To relieve your muscle ache?"
They said, "Carper! Ain't there nothing you can take?"
They said, "Carper!" And she said, "Now just give me a break.

I hit Sublime as a carping nut, fixed the brigs up.
I hit Sublime as a carping nut, kept the sloops together.
I hit Sublime as a carping nut, fixed the cutter up
I hit sublime as a carping nut, and then you brigands shot us up!"

They said "Carper! Hey, we're just doing our job."
They said "Carper! All you pirate ships we rob..."
They said "Carper! Hey, we're just doing our job."
They said "Carper! You such a silly woman!"

She hit Sublime as a carping nut, nailed it all togther
Hit Sublime as a carping nut, then she felt better
Hit Sublime as a carping nut, kept the damage down
Hit Sublime as a carping nut, at seven in the morning

Oh, at seven in the morning she's feeling really blue
At seven in the morning, wouldn't you be too?
At seven in the morning after carpenting all night
At seven in the morning, that Sublime ain't worth the fight!